Fuel To Be Burned
I have been holding gratitude for cancer in a suspense account,
thinking that if I am grateful it means that I am happy cancer visited.
I have been denying what is there,
as is our nature to deny half of everything.
While I am unreconciled with cancer,
the adversity it brought has given me myself.
I see, now, that every cell in me is every cell everywhere.
Eyes closed, spine erect, legs crossed;
I feel the pulse in me that is every moment in all of time,
backwards and forwards and this instant.
Time that mustn’t be squandered with niceties
where a more useful truth could be named.
Sentimentality belongs to yesterday;
it has no place in the present.
The contents of our clenched fists cannot embrace us,
nor can they propel us forward until we release them
and declare them fuel to be burned.
Those mantras of judgment, fear and guilt we sing to ourselves;
they are merely facades for disconnection; mirages on the path.
As the yin and yang are parts of the whole,
so gratitude permeates darkness and light alike
when the truth is freed from suspense and the seeing is clear.
~Brandie Sellers 12/8/14